Reincarnation's Reflection Renders Regeneration....WHAT?

Say that 5 times fast yo!  lol.  Sounds like a tongue twisting tornado....and thats absolutely correct lol. I've been through a tongue twisting tornado and through it all, grow every single day into a new person.  Its kinda fun to meet this girl every morning when i wake up.  I never know if she'll start off smiling, or if she'll give me a grimace lol....I do know that I am always happy to see her lookin back at me in the mirror.  Feel me?  Naw, the struggle isnt easy, but its not supposed to be!

With that said, let me get a little personal with you for a moment and let you into a recent experience I had that literally ROCKED my world for moments in time.  Now if you're at ALL familiar with Breathless and things that I've been through in my career, then you are well aware of my #Reincarnation, the event that astounded many, made some hate me, some love me, some leave me and some try to ride the ride.  Now, also if you know Breathless, then you know that my intentions were of creativity and expression, not to be of any harm or hurt but to merely show what kind of transformation I was going through.  I unfortunately unintentionally hurt alot of people.  

Very recently though, I had a sort of similar experience and fully understood what some of you must have felt.   Oddly enough it occurred on the day before my event, exactly one year later.  My mother had been ill....and was actually just admitted to the hospital that morning.  I spoke on the phone with my father first, and then my mother.  She sounded breathy and tired, but still my rowdy mom.  About to head into testing, so we said our goodbyes and I waited to hear from my father after results were in.

About half an hour later I am browsing facebook statuses and see one from a nephew that says "Death comes in 3's, RIP Grandma D..." and i couldnt even tell you what was written after those words because all i saw was that my mother was gone....wait what?......no.....wait.....what....NO!?!   I just frickin talked to her, NO my dad would have called me, what the?

Pacing back and forth, random shouts, shaky hands dialing the phone, spouse trying to soothe me, I cant sit still, OMG, what is going on here?  

I cant even explain to you what that felt like.  Well, actually some of you know....not exactly in the same way, but in the same way...you know?  For a while, until I got a hold of my father.....I thought what I read was the truth....and it tore my world into pieces.  I cant tell you how elated i was to find out that it wasnt true and someone somewhere somehow got the information wrong....but....at that point, i felt you.  And for that hurt, I humbly apologize.  

As a Leo, Im not big on apologies, or retractions or even showing emotions....but as a woman with a heart that loves hard, I needed you to know this.  I truly believe that experience taught me a whole lot about life, and a whole lot about the people around me.   My purpose in life is greater than the I that is here before you.  I love hard and am loved hard.  And Im not the only one out there in the world that's at war.  I found a strength in me that I never knew existed.  And some stupendously amazing people surrounding me. 

So thank you to all of you who have loved me from day one....who always accepted me for me....who held me up when i was down, and held me down regardless....WE are ever changing beings...every single day growing in one way or another, to transform into a stronger individual.  Every day isnt perfect, but keep gettin up and taking steps forward....after all, isn't what counts....is that you "just keep swimming?"  IJS (#DontJudgeMe I love that movie lol)

Love you All.....Bless you all.....
Breathless
#BFree

No...Im not on some MLK rant today.....Im merely stating the infinite difference between having a dream and being a dreamer.  Its VAST.  And honestly only one of the two will B the one who achieves their desires.  Let me put it to you another way....if you have two individuals who must run one mile to get to a table full of their favorite foods.  You've got Joe who is a foodie, but ate something earlier so isnt terribly hungry...could eat, but adores foods of all kind.  On the other hand, you've got Stan who hasnt eaten since last night, and only eats when he can....who do YOU think is going to make it to the table first?  Obviously Stans the man.

What Im saying is....be HUNGRY about whatever your dream is...and take action about achieving it...ACTION alone is what can change you from just thinking about doing what you've always dreamt of doing to actually living it each and every day.  

NOW....First things first, B thankful for everything that is in your life right now.  Your job, your house, your spouse, gf, boo, kids, car, food in your fridge, warm house or air conditioning (dependin on your locale!)  No matter what it is, B thankful.  You cannot want for more and successfully sustain it without first appreciating what you already have.  It will be for not otherwise.

Everyone has a dream....whether it be to own the finest of things or travel to the most outlandish places...whether its to be a doctor, paleontologist, or an actor....whether you want to change yourself or you want to B a female emcee who changes the world....we all have something that we dream about.  Those who take steps to achieve it are the Choosers of life....the choosers of freedom.  You choose to do the things that maybe some people say cant be done.  You choose to push past your extra hours because you know if you work a little harder each day, you can finish school....you cannot be afraid to DO!   #BFearless

I was once one with a dream, wanted to do things and wished and dreamed that oh one day i'll be performing with greats and living a life i could never have imagined.  While i still was bold enough to get out there and perform and do my thing, I still had fear....i was afraid of myself....afraid of how possibly great it could be...afraid of you name it, lol.  Mannnnnn, let me B adamant, Fear must have no place in your life.  It will keep you from happiness and greatness.  

I had to push past my fears in order to find greater things.  I had to B thankful for life as i know it.  Every day I have to keep pushing myself beyond what even i think is my own limit, for I know that I am greather than even I could ever imagine.  And so are you.   I challenge you to look within your dreams...and find ways to push yourself to no longer be a dreamer....but one who goes to war with their fears and comes out stronger ever single time because of it.  Take action in your lives and your relationships.  B an active part of making your dreams become a reality.  Only you can allow you to your greatness!  Dream no more, #BFearless!

     Today I wanted to take the time to simply say Thank YOU!

To you reading this blog....to those who have listened to me for years...who came to my shows...bought my cds....shared my posts....listened to me whine....laughed with me.....grew with me and well....watch me grow!

You hear me state that Im thankful alot...but I cant express it enough.  And I wanted to make sure that each of you knew that you in one way or another have affected my existence!  And I appreciate and adore you for it.  I've never been happier in life than i am now and only see that in abundance.  Oooh wee!   I want that for each of you....for I've told you how great you are....to live beyond your potential....and be amazing!  I thank you for believing in me....and i THANK YOU for just being YOU!

I have had the pleasure of knowing what it feels like to be both bound by everything and freed from it all.  Might sound a little oxymoronic to say, lol....but its true.  It was a pleasure to have experienced both for I now know how to live my life with a clear mind, heart, body, and so forth.  

To be bound....was a mindset and a lifestyle that honestly the majority of the world is used to.  Its comfortable.  Its easier...or so it seems.  And everybody else is doing it...Who wants to be the odd dude out right?  As educated and as free as I thought I was, I had no idea my life would show me the difference between the two.

I didnt realize it at the time, but my representation of Reincarnation....showing that the Breathless that everyone knew is gone and a newer, stronger version had arrived...actually showed me how weak I had become and led me to my true freedom.  I know now, that at that time in life, I was screaming out to the world to hear my ROAR!  To understand the emotions and the pain I was going through.  

I was caught in a hell I had no idea I wandered into.  Backlash and hate among all of the commentary, critique, judgement and support.  Not something someone like myself is even used to...but something someone like myself had to go through to realize that I needed to become truly free from the things that kept me from living life as it was meant....to the fullest.

So through the tears and the outrage, by the grace of God, I wiped my face dry.  I picked my broken ego and disheartened soul off of the ground and realized that I have nothing to fear.  For if I can withstand being so broken and confused and hurt and frail and still be alive, then I can withstand any diversity that shall come into my path.

To be free....is a choice I had to make to save my life.  And now all I want to do is share with the rest of you my experience so that maybe one or two of you may break through your own chains that bind you.  I can tell you it is not an easy journey to freedom.  It hurts like hell.  But once this Phoenix rose from the ashes and the rubble, I was able to fly.  Free from judgement, free from anything i didn't desire in my life and more importantly free from fear.  Fear is what held me back from....well.....myself and importantly my power and purpose.  And now that my everyday motto is #BFearless i refuse to live any other way.

Prayer, meditation, research, and giving are my focus.  So if you will....dare to join me on this journey of feeling a bliss like you've never known.  Do I have hard days, sure, sometimes....but then I just take a look at the tattoo on my torso and a look up at the sky and thank God Im here to talk about it all today.  So understand when I release my album to you, its a portion from my life.  An excerpt of pain, heartache, joys, outrage, fear, and war.  Please take a listen and let me know what you think.  And if you like it, tell somebody!  There is much more music to come from me, many more stories to tell, and prayerfully many more lives to inspire.  Learn from my experiences and grow in your own!