Reincarnation's Reflection Renders Regeneration....WHAT?

Say that 5 times fast yo!  lol.  Sounds like a tongue twisting tornado....and thats absolutely correct lol. I've been through a tongue twisting tornado and through it all, grow every single day into a new person.  Its kinda fun to meet this girl every morning when i wake up.  I never know if she'll start off smiling, or if she'll give me a grimace lol....I do know that I am always happy to see her lookin back at me in the mirror.  Feel me?  Naw, the struggle isnt easy, but its not supposed to be!

With that said, let me get a little personal with you for a moment and let you into a recent experience I had that literally ROCKED my world for moments in time.  Now if you're at ALL familiar with Breathless and things that I've been through in my career, then you are well aware of my #Reincarnation, the event that astounded many, made some hate me, some love me, some leave me and some try to ride the ride.  Now, also if you know Breathless, then you know that my intentions were of creativity and expression, not to be of any harm or hurt but to merely show what kind of transformation I was going through.  I unfortunately unintentionally hurt alot of people.  

Very recently though, I had a sort of similar experience and fully understood what some of you must have felt.   Oddly enough it occurred on the day before my event, exactly one year later.  My mother had been ill....and was actually just admitted to the hospital that morning.  I spoke on the phone with my father first, and then my mother.  She sounded breathy and tired, but still my rowdy mom.  About to head into testing, so we said our goodbyes and I waited to hear from my father after results were in.

About half an hour later I am browsing facebook statuses and see one from a nephew that says "Death comes in 3's, RIP Grandma D..." and i couldnt even tell you what was written after those words because all i saw was that my mother was gone....wait what?......no.....wait.....what....NO!?!   I just frickin talked to her, NO my dad would have called me, what the?

Pacing back and forth, random shouts, shaky hands dialing the phone, spouse trying to soothe me, I cant sit still, OMG, what is going on here?  

I cant even explain to you what that felt like.  Well, actually some of you know....not exactly in the same way, but in the same way...you know?  For a while, until I got a hold of my father.....I thought what I read was the truth....and it tore my world into pieces.  I cant tell you how elated i was to find out that it wasnt true and someone somewhere somehow got the information wrong....but....at that point, i felt you.  And for that hurt, I humbly apologize.  

As a Leo, Im not big on apologies, or retractions or even showing emotions....but as a woman with a heart that loves hard, I needed you to know this.  I truly believe that experience taught me a whole lot about life, and a whole lot about the people around me.   My purpose in life is greater than the I that is here before you.  I love hard and am loved hard.  And Im not the only one out there in the world that's at war.  I found a strength in me that I never knew existed.  And some stupendously amazing people surrounding me. 

So thank you to all of you who have loved me from day one....who always accepted me for me....who held me up when i was down, and held me down regardless....WE are ever changing beings...every single day growing in one way or another, to transform into a stronger individual.  Every day isnt perfect, but keep gettin up and taking steps forward....after all, isn't what counts....is that you "just keep swimming?"  IJS (#DontJudgeMe I love that movie lol)

Love you All.....Bless you all.....
Breathless
#BFree